One week ago.

One week ago we buried our sweet little niece and cousin, Addison.

She was my brother (just younger than me) Ryan, and his wife Angie's baby.

I was able to be at the hospital and hold this perfect little girl.
I have thought alot about this 'happening' in our family. 

I'm grateful for faith in any form to help get through sad and hard things in our life. 

I personally believe in a world beyond this one and I personally believe Addi is up there hangin' with her grandma (Angie's mom) and some of her great grandparents on Ryan's side (our family's side). 

I believe she is in a perfected state up there in 'cloud-land' and happy and watching over all of us.  This brings me peace for Addi and my brother's family.

Plus, I think it's helped Saydee and Logan to feel kinda special that their little cousin is one of their guardian Angels.

I tried to note some 'lessons learned' through this and I can tell you there were two big ones for me (although I can tell you there were lots of other smaller things, too).

First - Sharing your time and talents with others - a.k.a. serving your fellow man.  I try to do this, but not always with the best 'spirit or attitude'.

A local professional photographer, Alyce Clegg, volunteers her time and photography talent with families who loose babies. She comes to the hospital and takes photos for you with your baby and family. 

Angie (SIL) had told me about this service, but I didn't realize it was such a well-known and respected photographer in our community. When I saw her waiting outside the room with all her 'gear', I will admit to being a bit overcome with it all.  What a great person to do this!

Alyce has 6 kids and 1 on the way and she took a lot of hours of her time to do this, simply because she wants to and she can. 

Her photos were beautiful and Ryan and Angie used them at the service and in little programs, etc.

My lesson #2. I'm not sure why this was a lesson I learned from this, but it was.

I will be a better neighbor.

I think because we don't have 'next door neighbors', I don't see or talk to my neighbors daily or even weekly, etc.  I see some of them at church on Sundays and some at occasional community parties, but there are a couple who I have yet to meet and that will change. 

I think I was struck that what if something like this happened to one of my (our) neighbors, how would I know to offer food or kindness to them, if I'm not talking to them regularly? I don't want it to be that way.  So, it will change for our family.

That's it - life lessons learned from a sad thing...but for me, these were a couple of good things that came from this - and there are plenty more, too. I'm working on saying I love you out loud to my family - this is NOT something that is easy for me to do, particularly with my mom and dad and brothers and sister.

The service was very nice. The pastor did a great job.

I had a perfect shot of Ryan during the service. The songs were really hard to hear and not completely break down.  Why is it that music can really get to you sometimes?

I took some pictures after the service. 

Ryan and Angie had people sign balloons and let them go at the cemetery. I was snappin' pictures of everyone writing on their balloons and went to take a picture of Logan.
When I saw what he'd put on his balloon, ALL BY HIMSELF, I did the ugly cry. Period.

He wrote his name, drew a picture of a tiny baby girl (Addi) and then drew a train (his favorite) and a cute, little crooked heart. Oh, Mercy!!! I just loved and was so touched by his sweetness and his little, crazy tender heart through this.

I know he sensed and was aware of all the sadness surrounding this day. I appreciate the contrast in him because we all know he goes MOCK 90 most days, every day, every minute of every day...and to see him sensitive and sweet and QUIET for some time....it was nice. I also need to note that a couple days later we were all talking about this and Logan repeated several things the pastor had said at the service - WORD FOR WORD....I loved it!

Saydee, Kayla and Kylee (twin cousins) wrote sweet messages to Addi, too.  They, along with another cousin (Brynley) all had a really hard time at the cemetery.  They cried and cried.

I asked Saydee about it later (we've had LOTS of LOOONNNNGGG talks about this) and she said that she was sad because she would never get to hold Addi or see what she looked like as she got older.  Saydee also sawKarLee (Addi's sister) crying and that made Saydee feel really bad for Karlee).

I have appreciated the opportunity for Steven and I to talk about Heavenly Father and HIS plan for us and HIS love for us with the kids.

Here's some of the pictures of the balloons being released:
It was a really cool thing to see and be a part of.

One other thing I came back around to is this:

I have a camera and I need to document happenings whenever possible.  I have been resentful of this for some time now, but was glad to have done this for Ryan and Angie and my family, too.

I snapped a few pictures of our family.
Favorite Idaho Boy Cousins - Spencer, Logan and Nathan. I really thought they looked handsome in their shirts and ties.  Although, they sure whipped 'em off in a hurry when it was over!

My BIL, Derick, Steven and my youngest brother, Rusty.

Not too shabby in their duds, either?!
My brothers and my mamma! (Randy, Mom, Rusty and Ryan (Addi's dad).
I thought the flowers on her little casket were so pretty. Gerber Daisies are one of my favorites. I loved the dainty little pink bow, too. So sweet.

Ryan and Angie have a huge support of faith, friends and family.  I'm sure the months and years ahead will be hard at times, but I know they will have lots of help to dry their tears and help them when needed.

And, as sad as this has been and will be - I'm grateful to have been able to be part of it. It's helped me grow and be aware of my opportunities and build my faith.

If you want to read more from my SIL, Angie - here's a link to her blog (it's also on my side bard under OUR HAPPY MEDIUM).

Angie's Blog.

 

 

Comments

[JACKIE]

My heart and prayers are sent!

[Chris Dallimore]

I had no idea your family lost a sweet little one. Huge hugs and prayers are being sent your way...to all of you. You are right though. It is a pretty amazing thing to have such a valiant and celestial warrior looking out for and protecting her family her on earth. I'm sure she will be guiding and cheering all of you on!!

[Sara Sargent]

I'm so sorry.... my love to your family!

[Joy Howell]

Robin, My Brother Howard lives in Missouri, His son had a baby last year, with Trisomy 18. He died, a few hours after birth. I had never spent so much time on the internet....scouring over information on it.It was a difficult whirlwind, of emotions...very hard, sad , everything..still. I know time heals, and the pain, for the parents will slowly, be lifted..never gone..I hope the best for your brother and his family, and you and yours. your Blog is awsome, you are great, and your pictures made me cry. love you. Joy x0x

[alicia]

so so sad, but someone had bigger plans for her :)

her family will be in our prayers...

love all your pictures, you captured it all so well!

[Heidi Owen]

I'm sorry to hear about your little niece. It is never easy to lose someone in your family even when the are brand new and so precious. I hope your brother and his wife and doing okay.